A completely unscientific look inside the average teenage sport bag

As parents, we spend a surprising amount of money on things that eventually ferment inside a sport bag.

By Thursday afternoon, the average bag contains:

• -one sock

• -half a banana

• -an empty Energade bottle

• -a half-eaten mouth guard

• -a hoodie from two seasons ago that should probably be isolated from the rest of society

• -a destroyed saxophone reed

• -three maths worksheets nobody knew were missing

• -“Mom, that form I gave you two weeks ago that you forgot to complete...”

• enough trapped humidity to concern a microbiologist

  
  

Somewhere in that microbiome lives a teenager who genuinely cannot understand why they are breaking out on their forehead.

Sport, sweat, helmets, caps, hair products, dirty towels (please do not get me started 🙃) and late afternoon practice all play a role. Most teens also touch their faces constantly, usually after handling hockey sticks, phones, the Labrador, whatever the Labrador was chewing on the driveway, and whatever is evolving quietly in the bottom of the bag.

Modern skincare advice does not help much either.

Teenagers are currently being told they need:

• 14-step routines

• acids strong enough to remove road markings

• retinol serums

• overnight masks

• ice rolling

• slugging

• skin cycling

and products costing more than a monthly water bill.

Most teen skin usually responds best to consistency:

• cleansing properly after sport

• using gentle products regularly

• keeping pores clear without overdoing it

• changing pillowcases

• drinking water

and occasionally, or preferably frequently, washing the towel

At Upenya, we believe teen skincare does not need to become a full-time job. A simple routine, used consistently, usually works far better than skincare chaos and twelve random products recommended by TikTok five minutes apart.

Also, someone should probably check that sport bag...

Head over to https://www.upenya.co.za/youthrange, you will find simple, science-led skincare designed for real teenagers, real sport bags, and still-developing prefrontal cortices.

You can thank us later 😇